I’m learning writers have the ability to edit, change their direction, and rewrite completely. We add, scratch, and rephrase. When we realize we need to add, it’s because we desire to gift the reader with something richer to positively impact your life. So with humble hearts and a willingness to change the direction we were heading in, we stop, readjust, and then pursue the new, more meaningful path. I’m about to do that.
Part 1 focused on defining dehydration. In Part 2, I shared a personal story of physical dehydration. Part 3 of this series was going to focus on a list of causes and risks of dehydration of the soul. I’ve been stumped for a few weeks with that particular direction. Today, I know why.
You need to hear another story. This one is my dehydration of the soul story.
True Story Ahead
In 2006 a major enemy attacked my soul. This enemy pressed down on me like a printing press on paper. I truly felt trapped under this pressure. The heaviness was not like anything I’d ever felt before. Truly I say to you, I was being squashed with the intent of breaking me beyond repair. My enemy wanted to destroy me and all I loved and valued.
His strategy: “Create disruption and disunity to disintegrate her family. Divide the two of them! Render her marriage chaotic and horrible, full of discontent, anger, and senseless arguing. Stir up trouble. Make the relationship irreparable. Scream. Holler. Throw things. Do whatever it takes to destroy her! Now go, destroy her. Conquer her!”
At least I think that was his battle cry to his evil warriors.
God’s Word says we don’t fight against flesh and blood. No we’re fighting “against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 6:12).
It just feels like we’re fighting against our spouse. After all, our enemy, the devil, doesn’t get his name for no reason. He is the deceiver of the world (Revelation 12:9).
And he has power.
Marital Misery
Our marital struggles and troubles worsened with each passing day. I couldn’t bare the pressure of the attack, and it showed.
I lost strength in many ways: emotional, physical, relational, and spiritual. I didn’t understand what was happening. Dehydration causes us to be disoriented.
Physically, I was a wreck. My nauseous stomach caused me not to eat. Not eating caused me to be nauseous and lose a lot of weight. This in turn caused my blood sugar level to completely rage against me. Shaky hands and shaky body resulted. Weak, skinny, and pale, that was me. The once vibrant and energetic mom and wife now had just enough energy to do the bare essentials.
What I’ve learned is that when one part of who we are becomes sick, it doesn’t take long for that sickness to affect other parts of who we are.
The constant arguing wore me down emotionally. I didn’t eat when I was upset, hence, my physical condition became unhealthy. Lack of calories causes lack of energy. The process of dehydration impacted me in ways I was not prepared.
I felt like I couldn’t do anything myself. My enemy constantly made me believe everything was my fault and every attempt at fixing it was useless. There was no hope. If things had continued as they were, he would have been right.
The dehydration of my soul was life threatening, not just to me personally, but to my marriage and my children. The risk of this dehydration, if not treated, would have caused divorce and death of a family. I didn’t want that.
I remember begging God to do something. My soul was so parched I’m sure it looked like the desert in a drought. My soul ached from the pressure of the attack.
Then a really scary thought occurred: separation.
The act of moving apart seemed contradictory to the desire of wanting to stay married. How would that happen if we separated?
But, I knew things could not stay as they were because I was disintegrating before my own eyes. Even though this would seem hurtful to my husband and probably to our children, I realized in order for me to get healthier, stronger, more capable, we needed to stop the chaos. Get off the crazy merry-go-round of destruction. Separation would create space for that to happen. It’s like taking a boiling pot of water off the heat source. It will calm down and ultimately cool down.
Couch Conversation
One day while my children were in school, I lay on the couch. Feeling miserable, weak, nauseous, depressed…dehydrated, I begged God to help me. I remember calling a friend and asking her to take me to the hospital because I was convinced I was dehydrated. She couldn’t at that moment, but said she would call me back in one hour.
During that hour an amazing conversation happened on my couch.
I lay there exhausted, scared, feeling like the weight of the entire world was sitting on my heart. Shaky, weak, nauseous, and not at all thirsty, I lay there alone.
One tear fell from my eye, and I whispered to my God, “Help me!”
Then my heavenly Father spoke gently, but with a disciplined voice of reason and authority.
“Michelle,” he said, “I have provided all you need, but you need to do your part. Your kitchen has food and water that I’ve already provided you, but I can’t eat and drink it for you. You need to do that part.”
Closing my eyes, I knew He was right, but it’s hard to eat when you feel like throwing up. It’s hard to walk when you literally have no energy. The thought of getting up and walking to the kitchen seemed like it would take the energy of running a marathon. I didn’t have that energy.
Still, He continued, “Michelle, you have to do this. I’m right here. I can’t do it for you, but I’m going to go with you. So get up, and let’s go to the kitchen. You need to eat. You need to drink.”
It took me 45 minutes to walk to the kitchen, get a piece of bread and a glass of water, then turn around and walk back to the couch. That was about 40 steps total. I broke into a clammy sweat. I guess I wasn’t completely dehydrated.
Falling to the couch, I sat there taking one small bite of dry bread and one small sip of water at a time.
One hour passed since I’d talked with my dear friend. She called me back. I said, “Thanks for calling me back, but I’m going to be okay now. I’m doing my part.”
God Has More Power!
I’ve had many a battle since that one. I get struck down from time to time. The devil hasn’t given up, but I’ll never be destroyed.
God has more power than my enemy! That means I do too.
One day after I’d regained my physical strength and a couple of pounds, I was sitting reading my Bible. I read a promise from God Himself:
“The God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast” (1 Peter 5:10).
I knew in that moment I believed Him. I didn’t know how God was going to do that. My husband and I were still separated. But I believed God would restore us. He was making me stronger. I had to do my part of course, but God does His part too.
I promised myself during that separation that I would never allow myself to get that spiritually dehydrated (pressed down) again. Just like years before I promised myself as far as it depended on me, I would not allow myself to get dehydrated riding my bike again. Both kinds of dehydration are painful, scary, and life threatening.
Preventing dehydration of the soul requires being alert to the symptoms. We can’t control all the factors, but we can be alert and to do our part.
If you are down, not praying, not reading God’s Word, not spending time with wise Godly people, you are intentionally setting yourself up for dehydration of the soul.
Our enemy knows what dehydration of our soul does to us. Now we know too.
Don’t let him tear you apart. Stand up. Get a drink of God’s water. Eat some of His food. Then let it nourish you. God’s Word does provide strength. He does help us to stand firm. He does establish us. That’s what He will do.
My prayer for you is that you will do your part too. Ask God to help you, but don’t expect Him to do what you yourself are supposed to do.
[callout]’We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed’ (2 Corinthians 4:8-9).[/callout]
If you are a Christ-follower, believer in Jesus, you are a child of God. That means, you have His power in you. You have access to all His provisions. Do your part. Drink in His spiritual water. As far as it depends on you, do your part to prevent dehydration of your soul.
Riley says
I sooo needed to read these words today! I have been on the couch today nauseated myself. Different situation than what you describe but the take away is the same! Thank you!!
Michelle Barringer says
Oh Riley, may our Lord help you to rise above your situation and remember you are a child of God! You are helped by God.May He be with you and give you health and peace today.